Sunday, August 30, 2009
I asked my wife what is the choice? And she said, "I could take the baby into the bathroom." Bathroom? So the baby would forever associate feeding with pooping? That doesn't sound good. What kind of fetish is that? The other choice: having my wife's boob out in the restaurant? Well every year at the beach, a magical wave hits my wife and exposes one of her breasts to my friends. Some of my friends have seen both of her boobs over several years. So I guess it won't matter if she breast feeds in front of them. But what about the rest of the world? Most of the world isn't so caught up with the idea that a bare nipple is something perverted. I would love it if her nipple upset some old school Puritan. I guess the question is: how would I feel if some pervert is getting off on seeing my wife's boob? It would have to be a special kind of pervert. One who likes one breast and enjoys seeing kids eating from the trough. I don't like that. The third choice: the tent. I'm not sure what this is but I can guess it's something like a tent that covers both booby and baby. So now the baby is a shameful embarrassment and needs to be hidden.
I don't have an answer. I will need to think on this. What do you think?
about this guy, other than the fact that he was in the bar but not drinking, was he had on a backpack. It was the kind you took to school or to summer camp, with both his arms looped through the straps. The pack was full. Maybe he had rope and a gag with
chloroform; maybe it was overnight clothes, like he would keep hitting on the girls until one let him stay the night. Or maybe he brought his own beer and was selling in the backroom. It could have been a severed head for all I knew. If you are out at a bar, leave your backpack at home, unless you are going to a rave then by all means pack it full of water bottles for the E.
Kristi realized he wasn't getting a drink and there would be no tip so she moved on. I watched the guy pick up a napkin and write something on it and then walk out.
"I would love to continue this conversation at a later time. Call me
917- xxx-xxxx Doug."
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
I hate my gut.
Then I started thinking. It could be useful. What if we were under attack by zombies? And there was no food? My belly is stored up energy. I could live off it for at least a week. The thin would be eaten as they slowed down from malnutrition. I would still be decapitating brain-eaters with ease. Or maybe I end up in a warzone like Mad Max and the extra padding could deflect a sniper’s bullet. Or a body blow if I was in a boxing match. Maybe my bloated belly is best for the stout worrier I could be.
Stay tuned for more stories about the bump in my nose or my knuckle deep bellybutton hole.
In 1996, I finished a film called "Anything Boys Can Do..." It is a 71-minute documentary exploring feminist issues in the women's underground music scene of NYC Lower East Side. During production we had the same problems most indie filmmakers have: cameras failing, audio that was unusable and, on one of the days we were shooting Bikini Kill, Kathleen Hanna took off her shirt during the set and told us to stop shooting. But these are all expected for no-budget films. The curse started shortly after production when two other films with similar themes came out. On the festival circuit we still did well, playing in over 50 and winning a few awards. The film was written up in TimeOut NY and Bust magazine and it had a small mention in the Sunday New York Times. This is back when films were still being distributed on VHS and we sold about 500; then Facets Multimedia added the film to its catalog and we started selling a few more each month. After that Chris Gore came along and wanted to distribute "Anything Boys Can Do.." through Film Threat. So we had to stop selling through Facets. Nothing happened for years. Finally we found out that, apparently, Film Threat had no money to distribute our film and it looks like its magazine may have closed too (although Film Threat now has some type of online presence). We got back the rights to our film and, again, nothing happened for years until Troma came along and sought to purchase the rights, except it forgot to sign the distribution contract. Again nothing happened for years. Once again we found out that the film distributor was low on money, at least when it came to distributing our film, and had done nothing, at all, to get our film out there. We reminded Troma that it forgot to sign the distribution contract and had no contract with us. So, once again, we re-asserted our rights to the film.
Last year we finished "This Is Berlin Not New York". This is a 70-minute documentary following 15 Antagonist artists who went to Berlin, did art in a gallery, put up art in the streets and, in the middle of the night, broke into an abandoned building, turning it into a large piece of art. This time we put the new film out ourselves and have sold more than 800 since October of last year. We were contacted by Emphasis Entertainment which took on the film (non-exclusive) and helped us with distribution, getting us listed everywhere including with Netflix. On October 20th of 2009, we will re-release a revised "Anything Boys Can Do..." along with "Mark of the Ninja", a 49-minute documentary on what it means to be an Antagonist artist. This short documentary won best documentary at the Evil City Film Fest and was showcased at the Anthology Film Archives during its new director series. Working on the new DVD, we've had plenty of problems. First the compression was off, the audio levels were too high or too low and the buttons went to the wrong menu. But now the DVD is ready and we hope the curse is over.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
The writers night (Fahrenheit) began sometime in 2002 at Black and White bar located on East 10th street in the East Village. Of course all praise to Ethan Minsker for coming up with the idea of a writer's night and a big shout out to Bryan "MC Buttafucco" Middletown for being the orginal host and creating the orginal vibe of the whole goddamn event. ("5 minutes to tell your story and if you do poetry we throw something at you!") I was invited to attend the writers night by President Ethan Minkser and made my debut sometime in January of 2003 playing a cassette recording of secretly recorded verbal conflict with my dad. The crowd loved my tape and cheered for more. While listening to the other readers read their "6th grade cliche crap" I decided to start writing stories that I felt were more interesting than what I was hearing. The writers night was a weekly event until Bryan Middletown left NYC sometime in 2005(?).
The event took a bit of a hiatus and then returned as a once a month event with Dantagonist Graff and Brad "Zeke Tewilleger" Ackerman hosting the event. Dan and Brad could not get their shit together and had their heads up their own asses so we had to give the task to the wonderful Nick Katzban. Nick had a similar energy and vibe to original host Bryan Middletown and the writers night was back on track, (new writers, old writers, Richard Allen and myself holding the whole goddamn thing together...and of course we could not do it without the "T" brothers - Johnny T and Crispy T - thanks for letting us use your space!!!!).
Nick is leaving town and writer Matt is talking over as host at Black and White the first Sunday night of every month. We also do the writers night at NIAGARA bar usually the third thursday of every month. (unless I am attending a rock show it may be on the 2nd thursday of every month) I am the host of the Niagara thursday writers night. 5 minutes to tell your story, tell your jokes, sing your song, read your poetry, or just plain antagonize. See you at Black and White on Sunday September 6 at 9pm and Niagara on Thursday Sept 17 at 9pm.
Brother Mike Cohen Saturday August 22, 2009 2:43pm NYC.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Today I am doing my fucking laundry and running my fucking errands. While in the laundromat I can overhear the lady who runs the place saying "OH MY GOD" over and over. I dont know what the fuck she is talking about but she does not know how to pronounce "GOD". I am hearing "OH MY GAA! OH MY GAA! OH MY GAH! OH MY GAA! OH MY GAA!" There is a certain rhythm to this that I am enjoying like a bad pop song and I am compelled to say "OH MY GAA" every time I hear the idiot owner who does not speak the King's English say "OH MY GAA!" I love stupid people and would have nothing to talk about if there were not stupid people to make fun of. My father used to tell me that "if we all behaved like Jesus did, there wouldn't be any trouble in the world and a lot of people would be out of a job"
Brother Mike Cohen 8/20/09 3:59pm NYC
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Dash Snow is a Dead Asshole
There was a time when Dash and his crew of friends (Ryan McGinley and Dan) hung around the bar I work at. I found Dash to be charming and interesting. I enjoyed their stories of drunken parties and tagging the city. Later I found out he was part of the De Menils family famous for their art collecting. I never paid much attention to his art. In fact, I hated it. I'm not saying he wasn't passionate about art, he was. The only reason he was famous was by his connection to the De Menils.
In New York City there are lots of talented artists who aren't connected or wired into the art world and who will never be known. How do you change that? I don't know but if you have a clue please let me know.
I was at the beach when I heard Dash had died from a heroin overdose. I had seen him a few weeks earlier walking in the East Village looking like some Cowboy Hipster. My friends thought it was funny. I guess there are a lot of people out there who don't like the fact he was famous by birth. But it made me sad. I just remembered him as this young kid full of life. Heroin? It's a pathetic way to die. Nothing new. Redundant. Why can't these creative types come up with a better way to die? Drink paint and strap dynamite to their chest and Jackson Pollock on their asses.
Greetings all of you fabulous antagonists. For those of you who are unaware of what this blog is about (even after reading the profile page, which I'm sure all of you have done), then below is the entire manifesto of the Antagonist Art Movement. Read on for further enlightenment, stay tuned for all of our events, reviews, rants, raves and pure trash-talk.
Manifesto of the Antagonist Movement
The Antagonist is one in whom potential is provoked to creative
emanation, emanation that, in turn, provokes both the creator and
those with whom it comes in contact, to further authentic creativity.
Thus a powerful cycle is unleashed upon the world, one which is fueled
by its own unstoppable spirit, drive, and dynamic energy.
The Antagonist defines him-or-herself as one in opposition to the
natural order on many fronts. If that is a crime, then the Antagonist
is the criminal of art, one at war with a number of enemies.
One persistent enemy is the ‘If” – “If he fails,” “If she succeeds,”
“If they are laughed at.” Contingencies must not matter and must not
be allowed to take hold of the artist’s mind. The Antagonist must
become deaf to their whimpering and have the courage to make art in
spite of it.
Another ever-present danger to the antagonist is the artist’s ego.
When self-aggrandizement enters the creative cycle as a significant
player, satisfying its appetite soon becomes an end in itself,
stultifying and deadening creativity, making it impotent and incapable
of provoking more creativity, thus threatening the very life of the
Commercialism and opportunism are perhaps the most virulent enemies of
the Antagonist. The exploitation of the creative is not an Antagonist
objective in any sense. Such behavior does not provoke true creativity
because material reward soon becomes an end in itself, the creative
cycle is interrupted, and, deprived of its soul, languishes and dies.
Witness the dead art that floods the commercial markets. Antagonists
do battle against “commercialists,” the parasites of the art world. If
Antagonists sell their work for profit, they must never make art with
material reward in mind even if they seize upon their power to use the
system against itself when necessary.
Not only is the Antagonist one who opposes, but also one who provokes.
He or she is bound by a most sacred vow to bring forth creative
potential wherever it resides, whether in the human heart or in the
soul of non-human material. The Antagonist pledges to do what he or
she can to assist any artist, in any field of art, to engage in the
creative process, and to destroy obstacles to genuine free expression
everywhere. In like manner, the Antagonist will bring into the service
of art any resource, material, or tool which would perpetuate the
creative cycle as described above, whether authorized by social
convention or not, no matter how great the resistance to doing so.
The words set down above constitute a Manifesto of the Antagonist Movement.
Members of the Antagonist Movement hereby underwrite and pledge to
live and make art according the principles outlined herein and to
further these principles whenever possible in their own community and
in the world at large.
The Antagonist Art Movement consists of crazies from all walks of life who gather to create art. We run several shows in the East Village area:
Alphabet City Soup is our Monday night music show that runs every Monday and brings you the best of new music in the NYC area. We've had some foreigners play our show as well. It's free, coupled with $4 Mojito Night and if you are a band, or know a band who wants to play, contact Marissa at email@example.com.
Art Show night happens every Thursday and always has different artists showing off their goods. Everything is put up and taken down in just one evening (think guerilla museum exhibition!) and there have been thousands of artists who have already shown their stuff. If you are interested in showing your work, or know an artist who you think is great, contact Ethan at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Writer's Night is for the linguistically gifted artists and takes place twice a month at two different venues. Each writer gets 5 minutes to show off their shit, whether it be poetry, short story, music, silence, whatever. We've found some famous people at this night, so contact us at email@example.com if you wanna be next!
We all hope you enjoy what you read here and that you, in turn, realize the power of your art. Come support us at any of our shows and if you want to get involved just tell us! We love giving and receiving support. Thanks all.
-The Antagonist Art Movement