Boy or Girl

Next Tuesday we find out if our baby is a boy or girl. I want a boy and my wife wants a girl. This is no secret since everyone asks me. John Bush says, "If there is a god, you will have twin girls." He is referring to all the evil things I have done to girls I've dated. My father says, "I don't care what it is, as long as it's healthy." My wife says, "Boys aren't fun." But I think she just wants something to dress up. She can dress up our little boy for all I care. I've been asked, "What if he's gay?" I don't care what his/her sexual preference is, as long as it's not Republican. Boy or girl, we already know the name: “Blue” or “Blu”. Note to my friends: Not after the Blue we grew up with, though I did like his name. When I was a kid I knew a girl named Twelve. But if you have a kid with a name like that what happens if you have a second one, do you name it Eleven, as if you are working backwards? I came up with Blue after watching a show on PBS. It was an interview with a 92-year-old animator named Grim. He had been an animator on the Betty Boop cartoon and hadn't gotten credit until now. But this old man was the happiest guy I had seen in a long time. It had to be his name. As if everything would have been the opposite if he had been named Happy or Joy. Before I got married, I told my fiancé my first born had to be named Blue. She said okay, but recently she informed me that, if I picked the name, she got to pick the spelling, and it's going to be “Blu”. So now we are having a French baby. That's okay. I'm sure it's a boy.

-Ethan Minsker